Monday, August 23, 2010


A recent movie states, "an idea is the most resilient parasite".

Have been wondering since, about what occupies my thoughts.

Almost three years back, I visited this place. Since then, my mind refuses to stop building castles-on-island. Havelock Islands, Andaman and Nicobar.

I have this imaginary future life, where I have a two storied cottage on the rocks, access to the beach, my private motorboat and a job as a doctor on the very island. I even know the name of the hospital, and the tiny details like a bay window to sit by... a cobbled stone walkway... azaleas on the kitchen window...

That makes me a bit of a romantic, eh? And a bit of a loony.

There are some other ideas. Some which are fragments of memories... a stretch inside my college well past evening, streetlight bathing it, making it look surreal... a slice of a beach with little gold crabs crawling, being washed by the sea foam... a quiet afternoon alone at my grandparents', where I sat on the stairs...

Why am I calling them ideas and not mere recollections? Because somehow these memories fuel me. They quietly inspire and whisper in my ears that life is beautiful even when it's not.

And then there are some things yet to be done. Let those remain unsaid.

Mostly, there are people. Some burning influences, some quiet supports, some either- when the need presents.

Why this all of a sudden? To utter thanks with eyes tightly shut, and a grateful smile on my lips for all I've got before I tried to deserve them.

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Square One

Such a morbid, sorry phrase: "Back to square one."

It isn't too hard to understand... you climbed great heights, jumped with eyes shut and just let it happen. You experienced the thrill, the emotions and you LIVED.

But before you could see what happens next, if the sleeping beauty really wakes up with her true love's first kiss, that rude man up above spilled black ink over your pretty picture.

They say there are stages of dealing with something you really don't want. Denial... Anger... and after a lot of frown-worthy terms... Acceptance. That's when all that steam has been let out and you wonder what to do now.

So you don't have all that you wanted to at this moment. But you do have that yellow flower you picked when you were walking that hilly path, the seashells from the beach where you found yourself again, that smudged sketch of the pretty cottage where you spent a weekend and a heartful of memories that you will cherish for years.

Look at photos of old times. Remember how you were making fun of a friend when another took this snap? And that one, the windy day when you sat on the roof and just thought?

That's when you know the point of square one. It's a tiny patch of land you call your own, where you sit in the setting sunlight when all has been said and done. Sit with a cushion and upset your bag full of memories. Sip your coffee and smile to yourself.

Maybe Square One isn't such a bad thing after all.

Monday, June 14, 2010

10 Do Not's For Those Working Late Nights

(For the student species on holiday, usually a result of shockingly unproductive days and cumulative guilt spilling over.)

1. DO NOT study on a soft divan littered with cushions. Like I do.

2. DO NOT think you'll start working once you're comfortable. That is a LIE and you know it, you little procrastinator.
Once you have that soft cushion underneath your belly and that cool breeze ruffling your hair, you will fall asleep, as Fleur Delacour may have said, "like zat".

3. DO NOT keep the easy work for late hours.
"Oh I'll just leaf through these pages", you'll say, and wake up at 5 am with the lights on and a very disappointed mother making a rather irritating clucking sound.

4. DO NOT study FSM/ Com Med after dinner if you're a medico. Learn from a sufferer.
(Have you seen that Park's textbook? One word: PIL-LOW.)

5. DO NOT bank on caffeine to keep you up and running. It seems to have its aberrations, I for one start snoring fifteen minutes after a steaming hot mugful. (This particular incident was at 9 am... the horrors)

6. DO NOT take a snack break if you're ashamed to admit your weight like... er... some people... turn out to be.
Make sure the goodies are locked in the fridge and you have access to a maximum of 4 Cream Crackers.

7. DO NOT look outside the window. The weather will undoubtedly be:
a) absolutely delicious
b) reminding you of your crush/ love-interest
c) cloudy or rainy or calm or pleasant or...

8. DO NOT listen to music. Even Mettalica will sound like a lullaby coursing through those earphones. And if you have a sweet Dad like mine, he'll feel sorry that you've been working so hard, turn off the lights and tuck you in nicely.

9. DO NOT study in the same room as a sleeping person. This is as dangerous as sleeping next to a driver of a car full of cute li'l kids on a stormy night.

10. DO NOT waste all your day watching Scary Movie and the like so you don't have to stay up at ungodly hours. (To be reverently noted and instantly forgotten).


Devil's Vacation

Okay, so we get ten precious days off on a stroke of good luck. (For those who don't know or have had a recent head trauma, I'm a Med Student). Prudence would dictate cramming all those mundane but horribly important facts at the speed of light, eh? And that's what A Reasonably Good Girl would do, right?


Maintaining that I'm a reasonably good kid, my head is swarmed over with useless thoughts whenever I'm not keeping busy. Now "busy", for some reason, appears not to include worshipping Messi, watching romantic comedies or umm... napping.

What are these thoughts? Lets see, these range from the bored musings of "should i wash my bag?" to the utterly ridiculous, like "doesn't the football referee ever feel like kicking the ball in the middle of the game?"

Not many pennies for these thoughts, as is painfully evident.

Mention this to Mum, and she will intone, in a holier-than-thou fashion, "the idle mind is a devil's workshop". Mutter under my breath I might, but she's right. Hang out the washing to dry, make breakfast, solve a few questions and the iridescent bubbles of lazy wonderings burst with a resounding 'pop' (or is it a 'phut'? Will listen next time around).

A parting thought though, how come mothers appear to know this and benefit most out of it, with all the housework being done by a lazy daydreaming daughter?

Hmm... A deal with the devil perhaps? *Shudders*

Eternal Ramblings of the Stop-less Mind

A blog might be one of the Ten Things I Really Wanted To Do.

Ever since I was a kid, my teachers had one major complaint about the angelic (ahem) little thing in her class. "She doesn't shut up."

May have mellowed down a little since Fourth Grade but I still barely ever just zip it. Even when I'm quiet, I'm talking to the little voices in my head ( I'm not loony, just prefer to be in company...)

So when I, in my impulsive glory, decided to exercise my freedom of expression, I did realise the utter directionless attitude of this exercise. But who wants to read about the Hepatobiliary system or Claude Monet or summer hairstyles? (It is here where I expect my loyal friends to vigorously shake their heads)

Hence... it is going to be an aimless study of the world around me in attempted eloquence. Have patience.