Monday, August 23, 2010


A recent movie states, "an idea is the most resilient parasite".

Have been wondering since, about what occupies my thoughts.

Almost three years back, I visited this place. Since then, my mind refuses to stop building castles-on-island. Havelock Islands, Andaman and Nicobar.

I have this imaginary future life, where I have a two storied cottage on the rocks, access to the beach, my private motorboat and a job as a doctor on the very island. I even know the name of the hospital, and the tiny details like a bay window to sit by... a cobbled stone walkway... azaleas on the kitchen window...

That makes me a bit of a romantic, eh? And a bit of a loony.

There are some other ideas. Some which are fragments of memories... a stretch inside my college well past evening, streetlight bathing it, making it look surreal... a slice of a beach with little gold crabs crawling, being washed by the sea foam... a quiet afternoon alone at my grandparents', where I sat on the stairs...

Why am I calling them ideas and not mere recollections? Because somehow these memories fuel me. They quietly inspire and whisper in my ears that life is beautiful even when it's not.

And then there are some things yet to be done. Let those remain unsaid.

Mostly, there are people. Some burning influences, some quiet supports, some either- when the need presents.

Why this all of a sudden? To utter thanks with eyes tightly shut, and a grateful smile on my lips for all I've got before I tried to deserve them.

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Square One

Such a morbid, sorry phrase: "Back to square one."

It isn't too hard to understand... you climbed great heights, jumped with eyes shut and just let it happen. You experienced the thrill, the emotions and you LIVED.

But before you could see what happens next, if the sleeping beauty really wakes up with her true love's first kiss, that rude man up above spilled black ink over your pretty picture.

They say there are stages of dealing with something you really don't want. Denial... Anger... and after a lot of frown-worthy terms... Acceptance. That's when all that steam has been let out and you wonder what to do now.

So you don't have all that you wanted to at this moment. But you do have that yellow flower you picked when you were walking that hilly path, the seashells from the beach where you found yourself again, that smudged sketch of the pretty cottage where you spent a weekend and a heartful of memories that you will cherish for years.

Look at photos of old times. Remember how you were making fun of a friend when another took this snap? And that one, the windy day when you sat on the roof and just thought?

That's when you know the point of square one. It's a tiny patch of land you call your own, where you sit in the setting sunlight when all has been said and done. Sit with a cushion and upset your bag full of memories. Sip your coffee and smile to yourself.

Maybe Square One isn't such a bad thing after all.